"Beamed Ceiling"

Exposed Lumber

"Bring Your Contractor"

Tell him to bring dynamite & a bulldozer

"Convenient Shopping"

Across the street from a mall

"Convenient to Transportation"

Next to the Railroad tracks

"Cute"

Small

"Condo"

Apartment sized space with home-sized costs

"Custom Built"

Built by union carpenters

"Drive-By"

So bad that no agent wants to show it

"Easy Commute"

Within a stone's throw of an Interstate

"Exceptional Value"

Overpriced

"Executive Listing"

Lots of useless space, expensive to heat in winter

"Fixer Upper"

See "Bring Your Contractor"

"Historic Neighborhood"

Surrounded by derelict houses

"Immaculate Move-In Condition"

Cheap carpet and quick paint job

"Large Corner Lot"

Oversized property with traffic noise from two directions

"Location! Location! Location!"

Expensive! Expensive! Expensive!

"Low Maintenance Yard"

Completely paved in asphalt or concrete

"Needs Tender Loving Care"

See "Fixer Upper"

"Owner Will Carry Financing"

Owner getting desperate

"Park-Like Setting"

Has a tree

"Professionally Landscaped"

Soded lawn, a shrub and a six pack of pansies

"Spanish Style"

White walls, red roof

"Transitional Neighborhood"

Good place to find used auto parts

"Unique"

No Kitchen

"View"

Can see into neighbor's bedroom window